I am going to spend a month away from the family, writing the final two chapters. It's a combination of doctor's orders, an attempt to take some pressure off my extremely patient family, and fleeing any further attempts at involving me in what other people think of as "life", such as teaching, planning, caring for members of the family or worrying about the house, not to mention staying home faced with the fact that I have let my social life fade into nothingness over the last four years.
To prepare I keep ordering books to wait for me in New York, rather than having them delivered here and then schlepping them there and back. Now I only have to worry about the back part of the carrying. Here's a little list:
Diane Ackerman and Peter Sis: Deep Play
Victor Turner: From Ritual to Theatre
Annette Markham: Life Online: Researching Real Experience in Virtual Space
Sherry Turkle: The Second Self (Yes, I have already read and used that one, but the library insisted I give it back - they got quite strict after a while...)
William Betcher: Intimate Play (I am not sure if this one is appropriate, but Brian Sutton-Smith quotes it)
I'll also drag along The Ambiguity of Play, Man, Play and Games and Homo Ludens.
I had a revelation saturday, while cleaning the house. Some people go for a hike, some people have a cigarette, some people watch movies and eat junk-food: I clean the house, and my mind starts working, as if making those floors gleam and tidy up all the stuff around me is a process if internal cleaning as well. And this particular saturday, I saw the finished thesis for my inner eye. I know what it will look like now. I know the reason for every chapter. I know that there will be twelve chapters, and the two last will be - yes, the conclusion, but before that a chapter discussing games as such. It's the only logic way to lead this work to an ending. I have read, used and qouted game-theory before in the thesis, but at this point I have to sum it all up, show how all threads lead here both from the theoretical discussions, from the results of my interviews and the playing, and even the choice of methodology.
It's such an odd sensation: There will be an end to this, and it is close.