Friday, April 29, 2005

Structure

My head is filled with too much, information and thoughts floating about, making connections the way water shortcircuits a switchboard.

What I am looking at within my mind is the rhizomic network of life. The organisation of the college is taking shape, not into a neat model of ordered hierachies, but into a complex conglomerate growing from need and want, not plan, like a medieval city. The weblog research and topics are expanding and contracting like a heartbeat, suddenly filling one area, retreating, another area, retreating, flushing into and overwhelming some - uneven in the fields it touches, but steadily carrying on. The world of NeverWinter is the most ordered, a neat retreat until I start turning over digital rocks to see what intertextual references crawl out from under them, and it leaks into the rhizome of my mind like litte blue pools of dystopia colouring the thought processes. And on top of this I am struggling to organise the web of teaching and administration into something resembling the thing I actually get paid to do.

But this was not supposed to be a whine fest, because I am not whining at this moment. I am starting to penetrate the chaos this appears to be, and see how different problems give birth to different thought processes, and I am enjoying how the language of text and game studies lets me express my experiences. At the organisation group meeting last week I was able to give shape to an alternative organisation model for the central tasks of the college faculty. The weblog article is taking shape for my inner eye. I may start interviewing people for a job here next week. I have a date with Hilde about when to write the NeverWinter article. I have the tickets for the trip to New York May 20th. The alarm is going off for the meeting I have to attend right now. The rhizome of my everyday life is starting to make some weird sense.

Disturbing thought.

2 comments:

OsloFoodie said...

You make sense to me. It's almost similar to my way of thoughts when I started to put things into perspective when things are hectic and I am excited at the same time. The question is, do we feel relieved when things started to fall into place or do we somehow have the need to be in this state of high. I think moost times I feel relieved and then went on to add more to the chaos. It's intriguing, to say the least.

Torill said...

It's an ongoing process. I need intervals of order to be able to get through the periods of chaos.