Male moron law §1 and 2
I have spent a couple of days considering how to make all people, and particularly women, choose the natural sciences, mathematics and computing for education and research. After that it was with great interest I read Jill's post at Misbehaving.net about Katla's anger at The Gathering, and her wow never to return. If this is the way men in male-dominated fields treat women, they not only manage to discredit the entire field for females, they also discredit themselves for all normally intelligent people, gender-independently! Who, with the slightest touch of social intelligence, wants to be identified with insensitive idiots who do something like that to their female peers? The geek-image definitely needs a LOT of adjustment.
The debate around this is interesting, at both Katla's site and at misbehaving.net. What really fascinates me is that people consider general stupidity to be a defence. There's a long, sad tradition for that in gendered debates and conflicts. When I studied in Bergen in the eighties the local newspaper covered a particularly nasty rape. A man had picked up a girl in his car, and with the help of friends taken her to his cabin, kept her prisoner several days and raped her repeatedly. She finally managed to escape and get help. Rapes are rarely this obvious. One thing is having sex with a girl who has agreed to let you drive her home, that often leaves ample room for defense. This moron had kept her prisoner for a long time and shared her with friends. When asked how he could do something like this, he replied with the male moron law of sexual encounters: "Everybody knows that when a girl says no, she really means yes."
The debate on Katla's site indicates that the geek girls should be happy they had all that interest from the geek boys. Geek girls don't get many other chances to be what all girls dream of: a sexy bimbo. I think that should be male moron law § 2: "What all women really want is to be a sex-object all the time and to all men."
And beebop, I am really sorry about what you must have felt that made you write this:
I sympathise with you, it's not a pleasant situation to be in. However these guys are not really doing you any harm, admittedly they are objectifying your body but, heck, i'd love for someone to objectify my body and most women love the flattery.
I know girls pretend that they don't like it but most girls I know love being hit on or wolf whistled at by guys - it just lets them know they're looking good. For these "geek girls" it's a rare opportunity, they're not going to get appreciated that often!
I am sorry there are nobody who appreciates your body and mind, nobody to express desire for you and nobody to let you feel respected and treasured. Because those things are so much, much better than having casual strangers drool over your tits, and experiencing respect and admiration just might teach you what geek girls really want.