Done. All of me.

I just finished an article on role-play I have been struggling with since June. It has been delayed, lost, stolen and now finally finished. I am so done. Now it's up to the editors to say if the like it or not. To my eye it looks fragmented and sparse, as it is at least 5 pages shorter than I had planned. Hopefully it will appear economical and clear. Who knows. In my present state of mind, I don't. All I can think of is that this is the right moment for the bottle of champagne in the fridge, from the duty-free shop in Oslo.

Agirra

agirra, originally uploaded by Rotill.

Jill posted about the character on Runetotem, with a pretty little screenshot. But I happen to like the background of the orc better. Red and orange, wartorn and on fire, Agirra stands in the Barrens against a backdrop of blood and smoke, nothing of the cute human order and prettyness. She is fighting for a peaceful slice of the desert: some sand, sun and scorpions for the orcs to live amongst and not be manipulated by warlocks or captured and killed by humans.

And yes, I think the flags and the hill connote the pictures from the French revolution, rising the red flag on the barricades. Makes me like it even more.

Brooklyn Barbeque

brooklyngrill, originally uploaded by Rotill.

I love the way Bay Ridge is informal, surprising and relaxed. It may look a little shabby around the edges at times, but the pace is easy, the people are friendly, and after coming back for so many years, I have a sense of returnng to a neighbourhood. And these guys definitely feel relaxed and casual about the urban setting, on a sunny Sunday afternoon.

State of Play III

I decided to attend to State of Play III, as I am in New York anyway, and the fee is manageable. But I am afraid to say that judging from the program so far, I can't see me crossing the Atlantic for it. I guess I may not be the target group, though, as I am not all that interested in the stock market and the connection to games, I am not invited to any of the workshops, and I heard several of the panelistslast year and in different conferences.

I will still be there though, and I will be hoping for a pleasant surprise, such as a sudden surge in female game scholars and professionals on the panels (to be fair, there is one woman on almost every panel), or that some of the people I have not heard of or heard before can provoke the people I have heard several times now into new thoughts and insights to share with us, the attendants.

Last year was interesting and educating, and this year may prove to be the same. I will let you all know - if they have the same good wifi connection as last year, you will know it instantly if I reach an epiphany during this!

Games and aggression

No strong link seen between violent video games and aggression, according to the research of Dmitri Williams.

After years of arguing against badly designed studies confirming media panics, it's a relief to see somebody claim that their research does NOT show a strong connection to violence.

Thak you.

Endnote

Yes, I know, I am totally oldfashioned and doing things in impractical ways, but I am only just learning to use Endnote for my citations. If you are as slow as me, and need a walk.through, the University of Queensland kindly provides one.

Me, the other

When I run around inside World of Warcraft, at the moment in Desolace, that harsh and dreary desert, I start considering what kind of person I would be, if I was this total other. An orc is definitely different, but my tools for giving her a personality are limited by my experience and imagination, and aided by the hints given by the game.

Orc is an abused and driven race. They are small compared to the taurens and trolls and even the undead, and female orcs are smaller still. My idea of an orc is something which has survived magic, slavery, betrayal, harm in all ways possible, and clawed their way back out through sheer intensity and numbers. Survival of the fittest, yet strength by standing together.

When I log in, the background screen has nothing but war across it. Agirra stands against a background of fire, fallen banners and sand dunes. Nothing soft, no shelter, nothing soothing. Blood, fire, heat and sand are the aspects of the orc homeland. I read this background as angry and disturbing, but when I try to see it through the eyes of Agirra, I enjoy it. This is the familiar. Cool water, lush forest, rolling meadows: these are dangerous, treacherous places. Only in battle are the sides clear, only fire lights the day enough for an orc to see clearly.

And so, playing, I slip under her green skin, and start seeing the realm through her eyes. I enjoy the open sands and the hard rock. I fear the forest, and despise the water. I do this to the extent that I even feel the vertigo on her behalf. Walking over bridges and climbing mountains I fear her fall. This is particularly strange as I in real life do not feel such vertigo. I only experience it like this, virtually, as I watch my character run along a mountain path, or perhaps over the bridges in Mulgore or Thousand Needles.

And so there is a strange mingling of my conscious decicions (motionsickness when travelling, mistrust of water and growing green things) and the emotional response to my concern for her. The tension of the game draws me into this, not involuntairy, but perhaps unplanned, response to the game actions.

I am trying to position this in relation to what is written about role playing at the moment. Mostly I see it on the background of my own work: the role play chapters of my thesis. We will see where it leads. If you don't hear from me, look for my bones in Desolace.

Politics, aid and need

Erling asked about a political stance on the New Orleans event. I am definitely not going to declare myself on that, as I know way too little about what was going on. But by way of a quote by Francis, I got to New York times, and their headlines today are clearly critical of the way the crisis was handled. What Erling wanted to hear is definitely being said.

Jet lag and work

This household is perpetually jet-lagged, which is why I get along so well with my NYC connection on these trips. At 5 am this morning we were both up, making breakfast, drinking tea and coffee, planning the day. And so I can blog at 7.30 after a couple of hours of setting everything up for an efficient Friday.

Today I am starting the actual writing of an article about role-play and the other. A lot of the preliminary work on that was lost to the person who now has my computer (and may it crash on you), so I have had to start the outlining all over again. One result of that was that I didn't get the right books with me from Norway. So yesterday was spent book-hunting in used book stores for duplicates of books I have in Volda. I found several at Mercer Street used Books and Records Store, nothing at Strand, despite the 18 miles of books, and the last couple of copies at full price at Barnes and noble. Those I will have to donate to some worthy cause when I get home, like the library. Or perhaps leave them here, for later emergencies.



I also contacted Mary Flanagan, who saves me from more book hunting by letting me borrow a couple of books from her, and so the stack has risen to a comfortable height and I feel confident that I get my references right. There is something so very soothing about first-hand references, and not trusting other people's citations. I make enough errors on my own, thank you.

Nerd-TV

By way of a comment from Thomas, I found Nerd-TV. Isn't this just what we have been waiting for? To have a channel where Douglas Engelbart, Linus Torvalds and Steve Wozniak can answer the intelligent and important questions in life?

I guess I am a nerd, because I love the idea. I just wish there would be more like this: I want nerds of all persuasions to have a channel dedicated to their topic and their gurus.

Idyllic Brooklyn

verrezanoidyll, originally uploaded by Rotill.

I am slowly learning to neglect what the Americans seems to expect: litter, unkept parks and wasted grass, and focus on the good things of walking in the parks in Bay Ridge. And yesterday I got a solid sunburn on my shoulders from almost three hours of walking from the Verrazano bridge in the direction of Coney Island, and then back along 86th street and dinner shopping. It was wonderful, and even the red angry skin on my shoulders makes me feel good.

Finally, warm

I am in New York, me and the new lap-top and a new camera, it's really warm so I can walk around in a T-shirt and a skirt without getting serious infections, and stress is evaporating in the heat. I have been playing WOW with Jill and Hilde, exploring the power of friends to hunt next to, a social experience as well as a powerful one: the group gives confidence.

Now excuse me, I have to start doing some serious playing, thinking and writing. Back later with examples on how the camera works.

Life, elsewhere

Planned Obsolescence wonders how people can go on just living as usual shortly after a tragedy like what is happening to New Orleans.

But what to say about Katrina? What can anyone add, which has not already been said? What can be said about a disaster which was telecast before, during and after in such detail? The only thing I can say is that I think it's awful. I wish I had seen New Orleans before this. I feel like another treasure has been wiped off the map of the planet.

But for a person who is worried for her friends and family, my selfish concerns about not being able to experience a certain ambience are pointless. So if I am silent in the face of disaster, awkward and shy, it is because the right words are not mine at all.

That does not mean I don't care. I am reading Barbara Hambly again, the descriptions of coffins floating the the graveyard, the swamp, the colour, the heat and the poverty of a New Orleans which has been totally washed away now. It's the only postscript I can make to a city I never got to experience.
---------------

Update: I am closing the comments on this thread.

Low IQ? Female, I presume

OK, so we have smaller brains, and we are more stupid than men.

At least, we score lower on IQ tests than men do.

Nothing to be done, from now on I will have to submit to my superiors, the white western males, despite their lower performance. After all, they have higher IQ, and women are way down there together with males and females of all other ethnicities than western, white males.

For those of you who read Norwegian, read what Drusilla has to say over at Dagens Onde Kvinner. I am glad there are still women who are able to speak their (small) minds after this impeccable research has been revealed.

Counter-culture blogs

I need to find some, and I need it by tomorrow afternoon. They should be political in nature, and represent the voices of people who otherwise would not be heard in the mainstream media.

If you have any suggestions, please leave a comment or send an email.

I will be back and post what I find this afternoon and tomorrow morning, but now I have to run, I give a lecture at 10.15, and I ought to be there.

Four hours

Two lectures

My poor voice needs a rest, and so does my poor head. But instead I am debating with myself if a game like World of Warcraft is a hypertext or a stretchtext.

I think stretchtext. How about you?

Spam, blog version

It had to come, the systematic use of blogs as a way to gain attention through non-personal networks.

First we had the commentary spam. It showed up at this blog as well, even if people need a blogger account to post. Here it took on the nature of "I love your blog, have a look at mine".

Then we had (and probably still have) paid blogging and promotional blogging. Commercialisation is inevitable, when a good blogger sees a way to make money doing what they know how to do and like.

Now there's the "high-class blogs" thing. That may be serious, perhaps there is somebody out there who really want to show off good blogs. It looks like spam though - now that I have received the same message in email and in the commentaries. I guess if you manage to generate a lot of traffic through links of the nature "I was asked to submit this to high-class blogs", you get a portal which then efficiently points on to other blogs, no matter what the quality of said blogs is. Flattery works, that's the main lesson of the Nigeria-scam mails.

The next version was through email as well. This was the press manager of an English artist, who is writing the writers of art-themed blogs. I never noticed "art" as a particularly well-promoted feature here, but I guess I have said the word once or twice. They suggested a link exchange, very politely.

While not "squeeze my silicone tits", these suggestions have the flavour of spam - high-class spam perhaps (full sentences, no mention of sex or attempts to sell me viagra or a college diplomas, correct spelling), but still. Or perhaps I am doing people injustice, and this blog is just SO attractive that all these wonderful people are willing to send a lot of formula letters in order to make me notice them.

Yes, that has to be it.

(and steve (read the comments) has proved himself a spammer, and I have deleted his post in my comments. If you get hold of Faltin Karlsen, let him know his blog is being spammed.)

I never asked for that!

There's an email in my mailbox, with a link to a page for changing my password. According to blogger I had asked for a new one. I never did. I did change the password though, just because. Used my husband's birthdate instead of my own, so now you have to find that out, whoever you are who asked for the password!

Of course, it may have been something totally innocent, some other Torill who had forgotten her log-in, or a bug, so blogger sent that email to a lot of different people.

And no, I don't really use birthdates for passwords.

Battling Addiction

China wants to stop the growing game addiction, which according to Chinese sources has caused at least one death and one real life killing. Dagbladet had an article on this, but you can also read about the Chinese plan to stop game addiction for instance in Financial Times.

The suggestion to start giving penalties to the character after 5 hours is interesting, but how realistic is it that this will work? I'd like to know what the experience is from for instance World of Warcraft where there is already a mild reward/penalty system in. When you log out, preferably at an in, there is a little sign at the experience point bar that starts moving to the right, and the colour of the bar changes from purple to blue. As long as you have a blue bar, you make double hitpoints from slaying beasts. The longer you are offline, the further to the right will the little sign move, and you will make double hitpoints for a longer time - and so boost your levelling speed by not playing.

You can however get the same effect from staying in a city and for instance trading. There is a auction house in Orgrimmar, and it is always packed. Horde players all have to go there in order to buy or sell items. And if you are clever you can buy ingredients, make them into objects and sell these with a profit, while your purple bar turns blue. Then you can go out and kill something again.

I guess the Chinese version of this will be a lot more drastic. I can't say I disagree either: while I don't think playing in itself is dangerous, I definitely think taking good breaks between sessions is healthy.

Unless you're a sane person who can control what she is doing, like me. Now excuse me, I have research to do.

Election for Dummies

You think it's complicated to decide what to have for dinner? Try to decide which of 7 parties should lead the country for the next four years. If you want to learn more about them, read Oslo Girl's The 2005 Norwegian Elections Guide for Dummies, part 1. Hilarious reading, but sharply observed.