Recovery in progress
After a the shock of sending the thesis away, I am settling into new routines. They are not back to normal - as if I could know what normal is - they are oddly different. I sleep a lot. I don't just sleep late or go to bed early, I fall asleep around 9 pm and sleep with only a short break for brushing teeth and crawling into bed until 7 am. And I do this all the time. I work out in order to wake up and get back into shape, but that has almost turned into a new obsession. When I am not swimming, sleeping or eating, I go through my exercizes. I managed to read Life of Pi, but that little book took me almost two weeks. I kept napping over it, concentrating on the story at one level put me to sleep, to catch the deeper meaning was way beyond me. I will just have to read it again. Later.
After the years of frantic activity, even the periods of no writing being frantic (perhaps particularly those, frantic scrambling to find something to write, to process material and books and all those aborted attempts), it seems like my brain has lapsed into a coma. It has said to my spine: "I am taking a break, you run this thing." And my spine does the things it knows how to do well - lapse after lapse in the pool, eating and sleeping. Occasionally it leads me into newer territory, like blogging.
I hope my poor vacationing and recovering brain doesn't stay in Helen Keller mode. Or perhaps that is what I ought to let it do, perhaps that is the only way to be free.