Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Searching for something

And I have been here for a while. But it's hard to keep my mind indoors when it's the loveliest summer for years; warm, comfortable, rich on light, tastes, scents and not to mention great for strawberries. I am stuffing myself with them.

So the work moves slowly, and it's easier to clean the drawers and sort the bookshelves than to think deep thoughts. Well, deep thoughts are hard anyway.

The people who do find me in summer are the journalists. The slow summer season is the season of not-so-hot, but a little interesting, news. I have been interviewed in one weekly paper, Ny Tid (the article is only in the paper version), and by the radio, P2. One on games, one on weblogs, neatly balanced.

The radio interview in P2, 16.03 August 1st, was longer than I expected, and I found myself searching for the correct words, stumbling, hesitating. Not a smoothly prepared performance or an easy flow. And the interviewer does not assist, she feeds me a few key questions and then listens, even as I once overrun her to finish a laborously train of thought. Hearing myself like that I realise how I must seem - as if I am constantly searching for something just beyond my reach, insecure and distracted. And my voice, so light compared to how I imagine it. Hearing yourself on tape is always odd.

Perhaps it's a good thing. I hope it is. The woman I heard, as I listened on the net after the interview, she sounded honestly searching for something. That is pretty much my job description.


Thomas said...

When on your lectures we heard you fumbling for that something just beyond your reach, that was when you inspired us most. (And I'm not being ironic.)

Torill said...

Awww, shoot, thomas - you're almost making me cry!